Monday, July 30, 2012

Weight loss!

Any one want to talk about weight loss?  Or weight issues?  I could talk about this subject for hours.  It was on my 27 before 28 list and in a post here.  It is something that I have been struggling with my whole adult life.  And most of my teen years for that matter.  I can't even begin to tell you how many programs I have tried and failed at.  I finally got to the point that I decided that I was just suppose to be overweight.  

Then Nicco told Lola that he doesn't want me to be fat.  He used that word!  That little 3 letter word that I hate more than anything but referred to myself as on a weekly (probably daily) basis.  When I talked to him about what he said he told me that he doesn't want me to be fat because he loves me.  I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.  He knows that being overweight causes serious health issues.  He wants me to be healthy.  He asked me why I am overweight.  I told him that it is because I don't eat healthy enough and I don't exercise enough.  I was real with him!  We then talked about what foods are healthy and which are not.  It was an eye opening experience for me.  I need to be a better example for my family.  I need to be better about my choices so that I don't leave them earlier than I should.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be able to take my grandkids to Disneyland.  Those things aren't going to happen unless something changes right now!

So I have started making changes.  I am much more calm about the whole thing.  In the past I felt like I was starting something knowing I would fail.  I would get frustrated that I wouldn't lose the weight overnight.  This time feels very different.  I have come to terms with the fact that it has taken me 28 years to get this way and it will take a bit of time to get it off.  And that I may have set backs and difficult moments (or months) but it will all be worth it in the end.  So far I have lost 8.8 pounds.  Don't tell anyone but I need to lose about 110 more.  It has gotten out of hand!  Obviously.  Lets give you all a visual of where I am starting!      

I will be posting weekly about my weight loss.  I am thinking that maybe I will even wear the same shirt in each picture to get a real idea of what the difference is.  I am not positive how it is all going to go down yet.  For anyone interested in how I am doing it I am using the Lose it! app on my android.  Really all it is is counting calories.  It calculates exactly how many calories a day you need according to how many pounds a week you want to lose.  It can also track your nutrient intake.  If anyone is using the same app- lets be friends!  I am set up under foxandsparrow1@gmail dot com.

This post was difficult for me to write.  I feel very vulnerable and ashamed right now.  But also hopeful!  Please keep that in mind if you decide to comment.  Please be kind!  Thank you!


  1. I love you! I know exactly where you are coming from. Don't feel ashamed though you are so brave and beautiful! Be proud of the steps you are taking! I know you can do it!

    1. I love you back! I finally feel like I may be able to do it. I am proud but overwhelmed at the same time. It is going to be a long journey!