Thursday, May 17, 2012

I am no professional!

That quote up there is from John Lennon.  Nick found a different version of it on the internet and text it to me one day with the message that he knew I would love it- he was right.  I have been thinking about it a lot lately.  I know that I am behind the times in figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.  But that is exactly what I am trying to do.  Some aspects of my life are so perfect for me that I am content.  Not that any aspect is completely perfect but some are perfectly right for me.  Like I am pretty set on the family front.  We have our occasional disagreement but Nick is more than I could ask for in a husband.  And as for the kids?  They pretty much rock my world everyday.  I have been blessed with a fantastic little family.  I have some personal struggles to get over but that is for another post entirely.  

I am talking professional life here.  I know that I need to look into something that will make us more financially stable.  Which at this point almost anything would make us more financially stable.  Sad but true.  I feel listless and unguided.  I currently work in a retail store- ugh.  I hate it!  The more I think about it the more I think that I need to work for myself.  No one else bossing me around.  Telling me when to work.  No one telling me what they think that my time is worth.  I have an idea of what I want to do.  I want to make things.  I want to sew and paint and create.  However, it is really hard to take that first plunge!  I am feeling vulnerable and like I am not good enough.  What if no one likes my stuff?  What if I fail miserably?  

Well at least I would have tried!  I don't want regrets.  I have a freaking etsy shop empty and waiting for me to fill for pity's sake.  I understand that Etsy and craft fairs probably won't make me a millionaire.  That is not what I am looking for.  I am looking for some of my bills getting paid every month.  If all I was able to accomplish is having my t-mobile bill paid every month I would be content.  

I feel like there is no real point to this post except to vent.  I am sorry for that but it has helped me to really think about what I want.  Just like those writing exercises that you do in high school where you just write without thinking.   

What do you want to do when you grow up?  Are you already working at your dream job?     

1 comment:

  1. Hun, I love you. You are the best thing they has ever happened to me. I really want you to be happy. I believe in you.